Transcript of Rupert Brooke Speaking in a Leslie Flint Session
It was all very sudden. I don’t remember very much about it, excepting that I suddenly found myself in a kind of…well I really wouldn’t even know how to describe it. It seemed as if I was in, in a body which no longer seemed at first to be the same. And yet in appearance it was the same I believe. But I just couldn’t understand it. I just couldn’t realize that I’d died. Everything seemed in a sense quite natural. And yet the body I was using seemed to be foreign to me. In as much that I didn’t feel it had any weight. Which worried me for quite a bit.
When you’ve been used to a body that had weight and substance, to find yourself in a body that seemed to have no weight – and in a sense no substance anyway, seemed to me most strange. There was a terrible lightness about myself, which worried and puzzled me very much at first. In fact I think it worried me too much. I realize now ideally I shouldn’t have perhaps – because I was too sensitive perhaps, I don’t know, but this awful feeling of a terrific lightness. And yet if I touched myself I was solid and yet if I pinched myself I didn’t feel it.
It worried me terribly. In fact one of the first things I did I think, if I remember rightly, was, when I became conscious of the fact that I was no longer on your side and yet I had a body which in certain respects was identical in appearance, that is to the old body and I thought, well ‘am I or am I not, alive’ in the same sense as I knew myself to be alive when on Earth ? I pinched myself and I was startled to find that I didn’t feel anything and it worried me terribly. I thought well this body of mine, this peculiar thing, which is a body and to all outward appearances doesn’t seem to respond in quite the same way.
And I thought to myself, ‘why should it ?’ It obviously isn’t the same old body, it’s a different body. It must be composed of different substances, and yet I was still, as it were, on the Earth, that is, conscious of the Earth. And then of course I had one or two shocks, when I realized people didn’t see me, and I thought well if I can’t feel myself when I pinch myself, why should the person see me – because he’s obviously still on Earth in the old body.
And I began to realize there was a vast difference between the bodies in consequence, and I thought well it must be that I’m on some vibrational rate or something which is not common to the Earth and therefore people can’t see me. It’s what had been annoying and irritating me so terribly long. I can see other people and they couldn’t see me. It all seemed so strange and I remember vividly sitting beside a river and looking at myself and not seeing myself – that worried me terribly.
[unintelligible]…a river I was very fond of in my youth. I remember sitting and looking into this river and I could see no reflection. and I thought, well that seems most extraordinary. I have a body and yet it has no reflection. I’m afraid I was in an awful mess mentally. I couldn’t adjust myself at all. Hence I was going round to various people that I had known, trying to tell them that I was alive and well, and not to worry about me and they just didn’t realize I was there and when I realized I couldn’t be seen even in the water, in the river, I realized then that the reason they couldn’t see me was because if my body didn’t have a reflection, then it couldn’t be solid to them. It couldn’t be on the same vibration: it couldn’t be the same sort of matter. It obviously was different and I had to adjust myself to the fact that I had a body that was to all outward appearances the same, and yet obviously was not a real body from the point of view of Earth.
Therefore I was in what is, I suppose one would term, a spiritual body, and yet I thought, well I’m not particularly spiritual. I was so puzzled, so bewildered. here was I clinging to the Earth as it were in my thoughts in my memory of things past and trying to catch up with things too. In fact I was trying to do so many different things at the same time and doing nothing well.
It felt most irritating and most puzzling.
I remember I was sitting beside this river getting more and more puzzled, and not a little frightened as a matter of fact, wondering what the next step was going to be when all of a sudden I was conscious of someone standing beside me. And I looked and yet I could see no one. Yet I knew there was someone there. And I thought this is ridiculous and I looked into the river and there was no reflection and I just didn’t know what to do. Then all of a sudden, it was just as if I distinctly, as I did I realize now, I heard a voice say: “Come with me.” and I thought, “Well how the deuce can I go with someone when I can’t see them? I don’t know where they are going, and I don’t know who they are.”
And three times this voice was saying,
“Come with me. Close your eyes.” and I thought, nothing ventured, nothing done. I can’t do much else, then I’ll just close my eyes.
The next thing I knew was that I was in an entirely different place, what appeared to be a vast building, not unlike I suppose the appearance to concert hall, in as much that there were seats, many, many seats, and many, many people were gathered there and I was sitting in this place and I could hear beautiful music, it was simply wonderful sound. I can’t even depict it or describe it – and it seemed to, I don’t know, vibrate in such a way that it seemed to carry me, beyond time and space. It seemed to have a message which I interpreted as being one of peace and quietitude and rest, not to be unduly worried or concerned. In other words, I seemed to get from this place – this music, a wonderful feeling of being at peace and in consequence, I felt very different and much more calm. And gradually I began to perceive, in the far distance, what appeared to be an enormous panorama of changing light. I seem to have to describe it as all kinds of colors, but they were constantly changing from the palest shades into deep hues and gradually the whole room, the whole building, seemed to be suffused with this. And I was wondering how this was achieved.
It was, it was almost as if I was seeing something thrown onto a cinematograph screen or something. It was, the whole of the building gradually seemed to be illumined and changed with this color. And although I could see it all around me I didn’t seem somehow, although I felt one with them, I didn’t seem as if I could speak. In fact I was so disturbed, had been so disturbed in my mind previously, about my body as to what function it had and if it was really like the Earth body, which it seemed in a sense, but I wasn’t sure about it. I didn’t really didn’t know how to go about things I suppose then, but I wanted to speak to someone, and yet I was afraid almost to try to enunciate words. Anyway, I was – became very conscious of someone near me saying, “You can do it. Don’t worry. You can do it. Don’t worry,” and I heard myself saying: “What is this place? What is this place?”
And I was – heard in return a voice say, “This is a place where you can be brought into new being. Here the vibrations will make possible for you a new way of life. This is a cleansing station.”
I couldn’t understand what that meant by a cleansing station. It sounds a most odd term. This seemed far from anything that one could imagine. A Cleansing station, if one can imagine what a cleansing station should be like. This seemed to me like some vast auditorium like an Albert Hall, for instance, only much vaster and much more beautiful of course. Well there was glorious sound, music going on and illumination and people.
Then I suddenly realized that there was a change coming over me. [Aircraft radio interference]
I’d been almost conscious of it from the beginning and the people around and about me, I could feel, they too were changing in some subtle way. And yet I couldn’t explain it. Even now I don’t really know how to explain it. But it suddenly seemed as if my whole body was becoming suffused with some charged power, some vi-vitality, and everything seemed to become very much more solidified. It’s the only way I can put it. It rather sounds silly but it did seem so to me that everything around and about me, which of course had been, to all outward appearances, seemed as very real – that is I could see people I could see things I could see the vastness of the building, and the beauty of it, and the color and everything .
But somehow previously it had all seemed so unreal it was too wonderful to be true I couldn’t understand it and yet I appreciated it and it had a wonderful peaceful effect on me. But it gradually seemed to become much more real, much more intense. The people seemed to, where they had been sitting very calm and very still, they seemed now to become a little animated. In other words they began to move a little and one became conscious of something happening within oneself and within the people around and about one and after a very short time, or so it seemed to me, one or two people began to move, get up and walk about and to begin to what appeared to be speak, at least their mouths opened and closed, although I couldn’t hear what was issuing from them.
And yet I was conscious of the fact that they were trying to convey their thoughts in an audible manner. And it seemed to me that these various people were beginning to become alive. I don’t want to suggest that in the beginning they looked as if they were dead people, they weren’t exactly that at all. But I realize now that we were all, completely unused to these bodies obviously, we had recently passed, and we had been brought to this place, and we were beginning… [sound of dog barking] …as it were to be shown how to experience the new life. We were being prepared we were being, as it were, initiated if you like. And then there were, after this, when the place seemed to be more vital more alive, that is from the point of view of the people moving and walking about and so on. I saw, as I suppose others must have seen too, what appeared to be figures, people who had not previously been there by the way, or at least had not been apparent.
They seemed to become visible from all different places, some were male and some were female. Some of the women went over to other women sitting in the auditorium and some of the men went to some of the men. Most of the people seemed to be very beautiful. I don’t remember seeing one that hadn’t got a very beautiful expression on his face. They were not necessarily always strictly handsome, that is from the point of view of features and so on, but their faces seemed to illuminated and had great animation, great charm, great dignity too and I realized of course much later, afterwards, that these were people whose job it was to conduct these sort of initiations services, if you like to put it like that… [sounds of aircraft overhead] …and things like that to help people who, when they came over, had need for this gradual rehabilitation to a new life – and possibly, it seems to me now, had no particular relation or friend over there to meet them.
Oh very often I understand there are many relations and friends who gather there waiting for this sort of service to finish and then they make themselves known but it seems to me the shock of sudden death means that many people need gradually revitalizing in the spiritual sense. They need to, as it were to be cleansed as it were, is the best way to put it – of their old ideas and thoughts. They need to readjust their thinking and this is a method that is used in certain cases and certain peoples. It isn’t used for everyone evidently, I found that out afterwards, but anyway, it was an extraordinary experience and one which I shall never forget because it was a very beautiful and very wonderful experience and has certainly helped me tremendously.